Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Good enough to eat!!

I flew to Napier on the weekend to visit my sister and my brother's family.... especially the newest member of the family .... wee Isobelle who is just a wonderful bundle of cheeky, gummy smiles.... oh my, how could you possibly resist this...


And as for her older sister, Georgia... well, she is growing up so fast! And she's as bright as a button!

"Come see my room Aunty Neen.... see... here's my bed... and my books... and my toy box... and ... lets do a puzzle!... Aunty Neen... come on"

A real little chatterbox giving a running commentary on what's happening... or should be happening!

The girls are little treasures ... but it was also great to see my bro and his wife... it's been a while since I saw them (in person and not via Facebook)! I stayed at my sister's place and we had some "hangin" time just spending time together.

It's likely to be a while before I get down that way again so I hope I managed to get my fill of he girls... but everytime I look at these photos I know I want more!! LOL

Monday, September 14, 2009

Modern animals...

... for thousands of years babies have been born into this world through a very natural process... when did we turn that into a procedure? Why have we become so afraid of this process that we medicate ourselves to the point where we are no longer part of that process? We let others take control of something we should be entirely responsible for?
Now, perhaps one day I'll read back over this and laugh at my naivety.... I'm picking that some of you reading this will roll your eyes.... what would I know about any of this? And you're right... I know nothing about what giving birth will be like and it is unlikely that anyone will be able to adequately explain it to me.... in terms of what it will be like for me.
I've seen plenty of animal births ... lambs, calves, pigs.... in general the mothers involved made themselves as comfortable and safe as they could then settled in and got on with the job.
Quite early in the piece Tom suggested I have the baby on Great Barrier... an isolated island with no hospital and should intervention be required it would be a helicopter ride before it was available... I told him (in no uncertain terms) that it was most certainly not on the agenda... and then had nightmares , the kind where I woke myself up screaming and bawling ... woke Tom up too... and possibly the neighbours.... it has not come up in conversation again!
But I guess I have to admit I was really quite terrified at the prospect of labour. After all you hear all the horror stories of the pain and the agony... and high on the list of discussions is what pain relief you'll choose... "Go for the epidural - you won't feel a thing"
Won't feel a thing? What? I chose to have a baby... it took quite a while to get to this stage, a successful pregnancy... why on earth would I want to opt out on participating in the birth? How bad can it be.... really? I mean if it were really so bad then surely evolution (or common sense) would have dealt with this a long, long time ago by preventing women from having more than one child ever. There are plenty of people out there that have done it many, many times ... and many of those were well before the more modern "civilised" times and methods.
I have nothing against hospital birthing rooms ... I'll be having a hospital birth so that if I do need help it is available ... I guess what I'm trying to say is why has the emphasis become more focused on the agony and it's relief... why can't we accept that in our society and embrace the pain? Why are we so afraid of hurting?
What am I trying to say here? I'm not entirely sure... maybe I'm trying to understand why the birthing process isn't supported and honoured in our society as much as it is in other cultures. The focus seems to be only about the final outcome... the child... rather than the whole cycle.

I don't know that I'm expressing myself very well. Please understand I'm not knocking how anyone chooses to deal with giving birth... I'm just trying to sort out how I feel about it ... for me.

I can say though that I've been feeling much more reassured and confident about my ability to do this...
The yoga classes help a lot with the breathing techniques to re-focus attention and "active" relaxation, understanding where tension is held and seeking to actively release it.
Then on Saturday Tom and I went to a course together - Massage for Labour. To be honest I probably got more out of it than Tom did despite it being aimed more at the guys. I guess the discussions around the labour process and how if you're feeling comfortable and safe then your body deals with labour quite naturally... not without pain ... but, all going well, without intervention... and talking about the benefits of avoiding intervention, why it's important for both baby and Mum.
It seems a bit weird going to a course to learn how to do something that for since the beginning of time has been one of the most natural things in the world.
Still... It's helping me understand how I want the birth to go and how, for that to happen, I need to get my head around it...

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Grump frump...

... so I've progressed from feeling "a bit off" to feeling like a complete bitch... grumpy, whiny bleeergh! I don't like feeling like this and I'm soooo over hearing myself whine and complain... it's only serving to make me even grumpier and pissed off with myself... a vicious cycle! I feel like picking fights and being arguementative just for the hell of it... very unproductive behaviour and very negative attitude.... I know this and yet I'm still bitchy!
And then by the time I leave work I'm ready to melt down into a puddle of tears... I don't like feeling this way one bit, it sucks!
Where oh where did my happy hormones go? Waaaaaaah!!! Up until this week I've been feeling really good, nothing phased me, I wasn't feeling at all stressed... everything was groooooovy baaaabbbyy!!
I can only hope that Bubs is going through a bit of a growth spurt and maybe I'm just extra tired. Surely this will pass... I'll make more of an effort to get enough sleep and hope that this suckful attitude is over soon.... before everyone else gets as pissed with me as I am!

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

A bit off...

Mostly I think I'm tired so things are affecting me a bit more than normal... not to mention the hormones!! A few things have happened in the last couple of days that has dampened my spirits somewhat.

The most recent of which... I found out today that the reason one of my work-mates is working from home at the moment is because his wife has had a miscarriage. It has brought so much raw feeling to the surface. I have been in contact with him through email to offer what comfort and help I can. I suppose it is different for everyone but I know it was a huge comfort to me to know I was not alone ... and so I can't not say something to them... I feel it's my duty to pass on the sympathy and empathy I was afforded. Just writing this has the tears streaming down my face again ... My heart breaks for them!

On the whole though I have had a wonderful few days. I visited my midwife yesterday and am pleased to say every thing is as it should be... blood pressure is good, measurements are on track and the wee heartbeat (that is doing somersaults all day) in my belly is strong. Fabulous news! And all in all I feel fantastic... I don't count being a bit more tired as a problem as it is something to be expected!

Last night at work we had a baby shower to farewell another workmate who is off on maternity leave now. She is having a girl so there was an abundance of pinkness about... and plenty of cooing over the gifts of wee shoes and clothes... I can see this wee girl will be as fashionable and funky as her gorgeous mother!

And... I think I'm suffering my first full blown craving... I reeeeeaaaally, reeeeeaaaally want some chinese takeout noodle soup! It's been forever since I've had any... since my 'usual' place closed down. I believe the takeaway down the road has it on the menu... so... after a couple of days of this, I think I'll treat myself to some on my way home from belly dance class... hopefully I can knock it on the head!

And so, I'd better head off to class now... the endorphins will do me good!!